Sunday, February 8, 2009

I'm only 17, but I've known for a couple years now that I'm a lesbian. I spent the last year dating guys and tying to convince myself that I wasn't gay. By my senior year I had a reputation for using guys and ditching them before it got serious. Everyone also thought I was a party girl who drank all the time, but that's not me. My first job I had was selling solar panels, and the customers were hippie type of people. Free-loving and open minded. I would see lovers and children and strange individuals come in to purchase solar panels and every time I would watch them, I would slowly gain courage about who I was.

One day I was talking to one of my friends and she told me how her older sister came out to her parents the other night and she was ashamed of her parents because of the way they acted. Well I don't know why but I just flat out told her I was gay. I didn't even think about it. Afterwards I couldn't stop laughing because it was like a weight had been lifted off my chest. That day I came out to my brother and all of my friends. When I tried to tell my parents my dad said nothing. my mother on the other hand said it was all in my head, and if I decided to live that kind of life she would disown me. She really meant it. I never brought up the subject again.

Instead I starting dating again, girls not guys, and living my life. I have my friends support. Right now I have started working, I have a property that's on a triple net lease, I just bought my own car and I have found out who my real friends are. That's the most important thing. My best friend Katie keeps setting me up on blind dates and tells me everything she hears dealing with gay and lesbian issues. (She tries to hard sometimes.) I'm thankful everyday for my friends and all they've done for me. I love those guys!!!!!